IN /

Watching

Mr. Robot Season 1

Reading

Science Deified & Science Defied 2: The Historical Significance of Science in Western Culture

by Richard G. Olson

OUT / ‘

WRITING: ‘THE SKEIN’
MY NOVEL, FIRST IN CYBERPUNK
SERIES ‘QUO VADIS, SAILOR?’

CHARACTER: Crystal Paige Bridgewater

MEDIA ARCHETYPE: Kristen Bell – CHARACTER DETAIL – She is a student of Architecture

STUDYING: ARCHITECTURE – Architecture for Beginners by Louis Hellman

TAROT & MOON PHASE

THE LOVERS

Super Boy and Super Girl

Am I the progressive girl whose inner life and weekend days don’t even pass the notorious Bechdale test?

Is the voice trying to tell me too clearly, He’s a waste of my time?

But I liked him

And I’m still too heterosexual to go sleepover camp on this world.

I’ve discovered two principles at play

Disinterested selfishness – He thinks as an artist he is doing the world a favor as an ‘experience collector’, people user, scene chaser, because he is giving back to humanity through his PROJECT, his art.
Vs.
Selfish Disinterested – I want holy moments. I want adumbrations. I want rememberings of feelings. Intimacy, in short. With the world, with another, with myself. I want trembling and insight. I want the power to topple empires. Or leave them at the moment of desperation wanting, to fall of their own gasping need.
For me.

I wander alone desperate for this recognition, that is ashamed of its desperation.
This I recognize.

So stupid.

I heard a girl say she dreamt once she was a bulldozer, asleep in an empty field.

She was drunk and I thought she was pretentious and full of shit.

But dammit, Blake is some kind of strange construction worker, and tonight I just want to get wrecked.

Fucking sue me.

I. LIKE. HIM.