Let me tell you about a sort of hero of mine.

See, a while ago, I was hired to do some consulting work on a new amusement park. I was pretty established in my law firm and they needed someone to do a kind of risk assessment. It was a pretty new kind of amusement park to be honest.

Jurassic Park, they called it. Dinosaurs, brought back to life as the big attractions, if you can believe that. Anyway, long story short, while me and some scientists were there evaluating the place, the dinosaurs all got loose, wouldn’t you know. Running amok and eating everybody in the place. A real mess, and a nightmare legally speaking to boot.

His name was Ian Malcolm. This guy who I came to admire. And when the dinosaurs got loose, he was the only one really who took it in stride. As if he had seen it coming. See, he had an eye for chaos. Apparently, that was his racket. I guess they’re giving degrees in just everything these days.

‘I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but I think we’re being followed.” Can you imagine, delivering a line like that in a situation such as that. As if we were in a got-damned movie. That’s what it means to be a righteous motherfucker, is how I came to see it, after living through that first hand. Cool to the very bones, covered with dirt even.

I had to laugh. In that moment, being chased by a thirty five foot tall tyrannasaurus rex ready to eat us alive, this kind of cool dry wit was just what the doctor ordered.

As for me, I came out. Maybe not technically in one piece. But legally the whole thing was a wash anyway.

That Ian Malcolm character liked to talk about science and progress and had some clever spur of the moment lines like ‘what you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world.’ I really learned a lot from watching him. Progress? Some fools worship progress.

Me, I’m just trying to legislate the madness.

If you have to go, go. They’re going to eat you alive regardless.

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