Texas Governor Greg Abbott Gives Up Political Governance Efforts to Begin Career As Youtube Clickbait Star, In Hilarious Pranks Involving Self-Harm

Coming off big time negative publicity due to the Texas Winter Storm electric grid debacle, Texas Governor Greg Abbott said ‘fuck it’ on live TV, and told everyone “You’re all on your own, open your state, take off your masks, I don’t give a shit, I’m going to do youtube videos from now on, starting with that challenge where you eat an entire pack of saltine crackers in 10 seconds.”

Abbott, desperate to get some clicks, then moved swiftly through several other dangerous and stupid youtube challenges, including:

THE CINNAMON CHALLENGE:

THE GHOST PEPPPER CHALLENGE:

AND AT LAST REPORT, HE IS SLATED TO UPLOAD A RUSSIAN ROULETTE CHALLENGE VIDEO HE PLANNED, THOUGH CURIOUSLY THERE HAS BEEN A BIT OF A DELAY:

Get ready.

Big announcement in 15 minutes.

— Greg Abbott (@GregAbbott_TX) March 2, 2021