Having been a member of a crowd chanting hateful vicious things about some mysterious other that is always, forever out to get me, always working to outsmart me, this, today, is a new feeling for me. I feel kind of pensive, alone, and deeply terrified, foreign to myself and my own being. My body aches in a strange way. I feel a trembling in my limbs. Is this what it is to be becoming infected with communism and leftist terrorism, in my own home? Here, behind these walls? I feel a desperate need to be in a crowd, yelling, screaming, something incoherent, reaching a fever pitch. It’s this silence. It’s unbearable.
