Ted Cruz Shows Up to Work Tripping Balls in Misguided Call-Out of New Legalization of Magic Mushrooms in D.C.

I uh…

“The floor recognizes Senator Cruz.”

Ted Cruz stared at the floor for several moments. “Mr. Cruz?”

“Does it?” Cruz asked.

Cruz was staring anxiously downward at the Senate carpeting.

“What’s that Mr. Cruz? Please you have your time.”

“Does the floor really recognize me?”

Forty five minutes later Cruz was naked and screaming the the whole world is alive and that his new mullet haircut is the only real thing about him. Capitol police had to drag him away from a muffin in the commissary as Cruz ranted incoherently, apparently in a reference to the Q-Anon Shaman’s remarks, that he had to ‘Save It’.

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