Why Eating People Alive Should Not Just Be A Tactic Reserved for Zombies

Everyone knows that zombies get the job done. Their ignorance and ability to reach consensus through mob mentality makes them a good bet in land battles. And the way they achieve this is: they are scrappers. They eat the flesh of the living, and they aren’t too nicey-nice about it either. They will bite your face and start chewing.

Now, most people see this as distasteful. They say ‘that’s how zombies fight, but it is not a fair way of fighting.’ This is a good argument- to a point. Zombies don’t bite people and take them down because they are shameless… they do it simply from instinct. They have a killer instinct. They are running on sheer end-firing brain stem poison, and this allows them to forget shame… Reason? Long gone! To call this ‘not fair’ is underselling the sheer killing power of zombie hordes. They are downright efficient and professional about destroying human life. There’s a dignity to it.

What I am proposing is not to become zombies. That is not desireable. But, I simply want people to consider, that as living, breathing, thinking humans… Might it not be worth attempting to try on the tactic of chomping our target’s faces and ripping the flesh from their bones with the tools god put at our disposal? Our canines, our incisors, bicuspids… and let’s not be shy of a little tongue. I think you’ll find it gives you an advantage in battle, and you might get some of the spirit back in your jaunty step that the hordes of zombies running around these days has made you lose a bit.

Rick Grimes, noted ‘Walker’ killer… tries on ‘the bite’:

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