She Asked Why I Was Smiling, And I — Dumbfell Silent – A POEM

“My heart is haunted by…”

She was bearing her soul

I was chewing up the scenery

Drunk on her watermelon scent

And how she breathed like spring, to me

What melancholy mystery

She whispered secrets gingerly

Remember when they locked us in separate chambers

And made us exchange notes through desperate aisles

You were a chinese room experiment

I was a turing test twist-cabled

“You’re not listening to me,” are you?

She looks so lovely when she chides me

I’m too abandoned in her presence

Could I but bare to hear the signal

You don’t know what love is

She tells me, precognition

Before I go off into my speech about how

Being in her presence is the depths of love

I drown to process server systeming

If I were some taskmaster

I’d close the process that thinks your

Half hearted reverie

Is the dream we have together

While I sit pouring this glass for one

Of a contemplation

Half-remembering

A tuned in channel we could turn on

And like that I snap the dial

And understand the lack of meaning

I am a lost stream of mingling

Staticky and racing nowhere, coiled

With all the rocks that beat my hearing,

Feeling, senses into smooth less caring

I am the digital child of a space age rocket 

Lurch Drag on ing fire breath while her lips sit cooling

On the ledge of a thousand mile tower

With her window sill growing recyc piss drunk flowers

Wondering why the sky is bleeding

If a heart be haunted–

Does that mean a ghost lives by feeling?

Does it mean the spectral realm that underwrites the world

Is emotion powered dreaming?

Does it mean the flipside of the coin, material, of Being…

Is the zone of lost life, death, and living end spiritual

Fleeting?

Can a heart fill with more than blood, re-oxygenating, beating to the parts, are needing?

Does the creature of THE WORLD fill the need

Of a Vessel to bring SEETHING?

Should I, when she asks a dumb childish boy 

“Why are you smiling?”

Go dumb and freeze, my lips go slack,

Or should I stand, and lead?

Sing?

Painting – Jan Davidsz. De Heem (New Order), 2015 Gordon Cheung

Gordon Cheung

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