Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Mandating Textbooks Feature ‘Alligator-Supremacy Based Education’

'ALLIGATORS EAT CARELESS LITTLE FLORIDA KIDS. AND THEY EAT DIRTY COMMIES. THIS IS NATURE'S WAY OF DON'T BE A COMMIE AND WATCH OUT!" Ron Desantis has shipped out his new state-sanctioned indoctrination textbooks, which lovingly set up an 'economical ecosystem' with bright pictures and large fonts, indicating why alligators are at the top of both … Continue reading Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Mandating Textbooks Feature ‘Alligator-Supremacy Based Education’

Mitch McConnell Looking at Suez Canal Ship As Potential Successor

The ship that had been blocking the Suez canal for much of the past week has been freed, but its career as a tiresome obstacle may not be at an end. "Clearly the Ever Given, which successfully halted much needed traffic and gained much attention while doing so, has what we are looking for in … Continue reading Mitch McConnell Looking at Suez Canal Ship As Potential Successor

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Gives Up Political Governance Efforts to Begin Career As Youtube Clickbait Star, In Hilarious Pranks Involving Self-Harm

Coming off big time negative publicity due to the Texas Winter Storm electric grid debacle, Texas Governor Greg Abbott said 'fuck it' on live TV, and told everyone "You're all on your own, open your state, take off your masks, I don't give a shit, I'm going to do youtube videos from now on, starting … Continue reading Texas Governor Greg Abbott Gives Up Political Governance Efforts to Begin Career As Youtube Clickbait Star, In Hilarious Pranks Involving Self-Harm

Josh Hawley Champions ‘The Rule of the People’ As CPAC Revels in its Cognitive Dissonance Tones of Fascist Disco

Josh Hawley, a charming crypto fascist from middle America, my neck of the woods, is among the Republicans who pushed blatant lies to try to destroy the rule of law in America, leading to violent attacks on our democratic institutions. Now, he is back in a white pleather jumpsuit doing the hustle at republican convention … Continue reading Josh Hawley Champions ‘The Rule of the People’ As CPAC Revels in its Cognitive Dissonance Tones of Fascist Disco

A Marjorie Taylor Green Erotic Fan-Fiction – ‘She Was the Queen of MAGA’ – Making All Gymgoers Agitated

The following is an erotic fantasy featuring fresh face politician Marjorie Taylor Green of the far right Q-Anon Faction of the GOP. It in no way represents any actual events, even if to me it seems very real, in my heart. I am a big fan of you, special lady. - Based on News Reports … Continue reading A Marjorie Taylor Green Erotic Fan-Fiction – ‘She Was the Queen of MAGA’ – Making All Gymgoers Agitated

Greg Gutfield Awarded Fox Network’s Coveted Primetime Spot Reserved for Gilt-Edge Sycophants and Human-Progress-Obstructionists

BREAKING NEWS - 2/10/2021 - It was announced today that Fox's Greg Gutfield, a fixture on 'THE FIVE' weekday evening show which regularly indoctrinates and frustrates many wholesome American viewers deeper into their opiated dreams, was given the coveted 11pm hour slot on the network. The network is shaking up their programming schedule in the … Continue reading Greg Gutfield Awarded Fox Network’s Coveted Primetime Spot Reserved for Gilt-Edge Sycophants and Human-Progress-Obstructionists

Trump’s New Defense Strategy Said to Consist of Calling Thousands of Suprise Witnesses with Weapons to Make Sure He Is Cleared of Wrongdoing

In what many see as a 'maverick' kind of legal maneuver, Trump and his last minute legal team are planning a rather risky strategy for the ex-President's second impeachment trial. Rather than rely on a defense based on reasoned argument or building up a case of various things the President has said which indicate he … Continue reading Trump’s New Defense Strategy Said to Consist of Calling Thousands of Suprise Witnesses with Weapons to Make Sure He Is Cleared of Wrongdoing

Right Wing Media Declare Joe Biden ‘Simply TOO Radical’ After Seen Skateboarding To Local Pizza Parlor With Friends the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"Has there ever been a more tubular President than Joe Biden? I mean, I'm really asking," said Greg Gutfield of Fox News. "It hasn't been a week since his righteous declaration of Unity at the inauguration and he is already wailing on the half pipe with his totally far-out crew of friends the Teenage Mutant … Continue reading Right Wing Media Declare Joe Biden ‘Simply TOO Radical’ After Seen Skateboarding To Local Pizza Parlor With Friends the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

U.S. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene Says Newly Surfaced Video Clips of Godzilla fighting King Kong Point to Secret Pantheon of Monsters Who Control The Earth

Expressing alarm and consternation to her colleges in the United States government, Marjorie Taylor pointed to a video that she had seen on youtube. It apparently depicted a supermonster by the name of Godzilla in a protracted battle with another ancient God she said was referred to as 'King Kong'. Greene is determined to expose … Continue reading U.S. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene Says Newly Surfaced Video Clips of Godzilla fighting King Kong Point to Secret Pantheon of Monsters Who Control The Earth

Rudy Giuliani Suggests Instead of Trump Impeachment Trial, He Be Able to Face A Chosen Senator in ‘TRIAL BY COMBAT’

Echoing his earlier call for legal matters to be settled by violent clashes of champions in old fashioned gladitorial matches, just previous to the Insurrection attack on the Senate building to attempt to overthrow the United States 2020 Presidential Election, Trump Lawyer Rudy Giuliani made similar statements today. "Look, they want to have an impeachment, … Continue reading Rudy Giuliani Suggests Instead of Trump Impeachment Trial, He Be Able to Face A Chosen Senator in ‘TRIAL BY COMBAT’